hot mess-cipes, joey waffles, life, love, weekend

When did we become parents?

So I know fourteen people that are currently pregnant. Yup, fourteen. Eight are from my high school graduating class. This doesn’t include one of my best friends Sarah who just had a beautiful baby girl Haley. With all this talk of baby talk, Joey and I have been even more firm with our no baby lifestyle. The best laid plans right?

Joey Waffles and I will feel like parents for the next month but I am definitely NOT pregnant, just wanted to give you all a  little panic 😉

Here’s the story. JoeyWaffles has an older (by one year) brother who is as different as him from night and day. He is an aspiring musician who works in IT (when he’s working) and has never really held a steady job. He got himself into some financial trouble and in order to help him avoid another huge mistake, we offered to let him stay for the month. Trust me it will only be the end of the month and then he’s out. He is looking for places and going on job interviews.

JoeyWaffles and I have to make sure he has a curfew since we didn’t give him a key to the house. We have to make sure he’s applying to jobs and that he’s being reasonable about them i.e. not ignoring a job because it’s in a close suburbs, not downtown or he thinks less than $20 is too low. We live in small two bedroom and the spare bedroom is filled with video games, so he is sleeping on the sofa in our dining room. Yeah, we have a love seat in the dining room that Winston the cat sleeps on. We also only have one bathroom.

So no privacy, no alone time. Having to make sure he makes it home on time. No sleeping in on Saturdays. It’s like raising a child. We have to make sure his homework i.e. apt/job hunting is done. This just drives home the fact we don’t want kids and think we must have jinxed ourselves being so happy we’re childless while everyone is living it up in babyville.

I know that if you want a be a parent, everything your baby does is a miracle and amazing and it’s the best experiences. Rick and Sara are going through it right now and it’s awesome to watch. They are falling in love with their baby and it’s amazing. Just not for me. Ever.

I don’t want my weekends interrupted or to have to sneak sex around a baby sleeping or out or who knows where babies go. I want to be able to drop everything and do whatever I want. I want lazy Sundays and extra income and peace and quiet. This doesn’t by any means think I think it’s the better lifestyle, I just think it’s better for me. After living alone, even cohabiting with JoeyWaffles, I still love my alone alone time, even from him. So having a third person living with us is like having a child and extremely not fun. I want to be able to watch my trashy tv in my underwear or walk around naked or dance and sing while I cook without an audience.

Having no alone time all last week with JoeyWaffles meant Sunday I wanted to just hang out and have fun. So we drove to Elgin and had Sushi Station, went thrifting, had smoothies, I got supper pissed at the guy in the Old Navy dressing room for not wanting me to try on jeans when it was 1 minute passed 6 o’clock (might have thrown the jeans down…) and then we did some meal prep. Sometimes I get bored with the same thing so we tried something new this week. I’ll be posting my Presto! Paleo Pesto Chicken Stuffed with Garlic Spinach and Bacon in a new section called Hot Mess-cipes. Look for it later today!

So since I have to see everyone’s numerous baby photos which are sickeningly cute, here’s my version of a overly cute photo.

You’re welcome.

advice, dating, food, groceries, grocery store, joeywaffles, relationship advice, shopping, weekend

The Girlfriends Guide to Grocery Shopping with Your Guy

So JoeyWaffles hates shopping in general but he REALLY despises grocery shopping. A lot of people do because you have the browsers who stop every two seconds, the slow movers, the picky people in the deli line, etc. Going to a grocery store during 5pm-8pm during the week is brave of you and forget weekend shopping, it’s all a nightmare. In my single days I did the 1am shopping on Saturday night with the Orthodox folks in my old neighborhood and it was a breeze. These days though, we always end up doing our shopping on Sundays. Daring and reckless you might say but that’s when we run out of groceries and it means I get fresh salmon for dinner.

So how do I get in and out of the grocery store and still have a smiling JoeyWaffles?
1. Have a list. Have.A.List. Seriously. I don’t think I can stress this enough but nothing will annoy your guy more then having to wander around and listen to you think out loud. He doesn’t care what you’re having or who’s coming over, he just wants to quickly pass by the produce section where old ladies are examining their fruit as if it’s a priceless piece of art and their lives depend on the perfect cantaloupe.
2.  Organize your list by store layout.  Most grocery stores have a similar layout when you walk in: produce, deli, meats, dairy, bread, etc on the perimeter. The insides have the dry goods. Try to group your list by department so you aren’t running all over the store, back and forth and pissing off all the people following the grocery cart flow. This way you can route yourself like GoogleMaps wouldDon’t be like mapquest and make a twenty minute trip into forty-five. (did I really just reference mapquest and date myself? sure did. 31 represent.)
3. Do not linger. Get in. Get out. Stick to your list and don’t talk to strangers. Just find your items and move on. Simple. Efficient. You want to debate between which goat cheese is better, do it on your own time. Otherwise throw both in the cart and think while your pushing your way to the next product. You can always give it back at the register BUT don’t do this with all items and makes someones jobs harder by having a bunch of go backs.
4. Throw something in the cart just for him. We all know bribery works so throw in his favorite juice, a big steak, maple bacon chips, Angry Orchard, whatever floats his boat. He’ll be happy to have a treat and I appreciate having a 6’4 guy who can grab things and move people out of the way for me.
5. Let him pick the checkout lane. At least if he picks wrong, it’s on him. Plus, all I really care about is the candy selection and choosing between People magazine or the National Enquirer. 
In all seriousness, these rules aren’t just for your guy/partner/significant other who hates shopping. These rules apply can apply to you as the grocery store hater or for your solo trips.
After all, you can just make #4 a treat for yourself.
crafts, DIY, fall, goals, happy, joey waffles, life, noshopo, thrifty, weekend

Falling Into the Season

I love fall. I loves pumpkin spiced lattes, boots, the crisp weather, saying the word ‘crisp’, well…you get the picture. Thanks to the interwebs freaking me out about PSL giving me cancer(yeah google that shit, kinda scary) I have been drinking cinnamon dolce lattes with soy and whip (I like no dairy usually but whipped cream cannot be ignored). Fall in Chicago is pretty breathtaking and I am hoping we can actually commit to a season because we had no spring and a weird not summer summer.

Friday night I made a mixture of the Pioneer Woman’s chili with some help from Jamie Deen. So delicious. I added coco powder, cinnamon, a Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer, and a jalapeno. Made some Bob’s Red Mill gluten free cornbread muffin mix and an Angry Orchard cider and life was real good. 
Saturday was a huge score at the garage sales. Joey Waffles and I had to have hit up at least 15, some duds, some pretty amazing. Also went to my first estate sale, not so great but won’t stop my from trying again in the future. We supported C.A.R.E in Evanston by going to their rummage sale first and I got a new litter box, car seat booster thing for Dante and a picture frame. By the end of the day, I had 2 more frames, a mini muffin top pan, a sewing machine, and a vintage tray with flowers on it. Oh, and a corkboard.
Thanks to pinterest, I found inspiration for my office and used thisthis, and especially this to help me DIY my new frames. With some metallic spray paint from Home Depot and some fabric from JoAnn fabrics, I now have a beautiful corkboard, a frame to use over a dry erase calendar and another I am not sure exactly what to do but it’ll look pretty. Grabbed some extra fabric to make curtains to hide Joey’s random junk on the bookshelves and a matching seat cushion for my chair. Pictures soon of the rest but here’s the corkboard:

I spent Saturday night at the rehab clinic/home my Grandma is currently staying at and had a great time with her. We talk and laugh and play scratch off lotto and watched the new Lifetime Movie Deliverance Creek which was a departure for Nicholas Sparks but I absolutely loved it. I hope they make it into a mini series because I love a show with a strong female lead and a great plot.

Sunday JoeyWaffles and I went to Kauffmans for bagels, Starbucks, and then Home Depot. We are so yuppies in our 30’s but whatever whatever I do what I want. We bought mistake paint at $9/gallon for our bathroom and the new laundry room, which will apparently be a bright lilac. Then CarlitaRosita and I went on a lady date to JoAnn fabrics, Sears Outlet, and the grocery store. Who knew Sears even had an outlet and what great sales they had? Not me! I snagged a cute ress (olive green with light pink hearts) and a fall skirt along with a pair of gloves with the thumbholes cut out for $7.92. Who says you can’t be a baller on a budget? NoShoPo for life #noshame.

We also cooked steak, steak fajitas, chorizo burgers, chicken kabobs, salmon, chicken thighs, chicken leg quarters, and then I baked these yummy carrot cake muffins (sans the cream cheese). I love that we can cook for the week, be healthy, spend time with each other, and save money. It’s all abut balance and I am loving what we’ve got.

This week’s goals are:

  • Completing the laundry room by Saturday for the washer/dryer delivery. 
  • We have to put the new vessel sink and vanity in the bathroom and lay down the new tile. 
  • Sewing my curtains/making the sea cushion/finishing touches on my office
  • Sign up and study for the GRE
  • Work out 4 times
Happy Monday!