advice, dating, food, groceries, grocery store, joeywaffles, relationship advice, shopping, weekend

The Girlfriends Guide to Grocery Shopping with Your Guy

So JoeyWaffles hates shopping in general but he REALLY despises grocery shopping. A lot of people do because you have the browsers who stop every two seconds, the slow movers, the picky people in the deli line, etc. Going to a grocery store during 5pm-8pm during the week is brave of you and forget weekend shopping, it’s all a nightmare. In my single days I did the 1am shopping on Saturday night with the Orthodox folks in my old neighborhood and it was a breeze. These days though, we always end up doing our shopping on Sundays. Daring and reckless you might say but that’s when we run out of groceries and it means I get fresh salmon for dinner.

So how do I get in and out of the grocery store and still have a smiling JoeyWaffles?
1. Have a list. Have.A.List. Seriously. I don’t think I can stress this enough but nothing will annoy your guy more then having to wander around and listen to you think out loud. He doesn’t care what you’re having or who’s coming over, he just wants to quickly pass by the produce section where old ladies are examining their fruit as if it’s a priceless piece of art and their lives depend on the perfect cantaloupe.
2.  Organize your list by store layout.  Most grocery stores have a similar layout when you walk in: produce, deli, meats, dairy, bread, etc on the perimeter. The insides have the dry goods. Try to group your list by department so you aren’t running all over the store, back and forth and pissing off all the people following the grocery cart flow. This way you can route yourself like GoogleMaps wouldDon’t be like mapquest and make a twenty minute trip into forty-five. (did I really just reference mapquest and date myself? sure did. 31 represent.)
3. Do not linger. Get in. Get out. Stick to your list and don’t talk to strangers. Just find your items and move on. Simple. Efficient. You want to debate between which goat cheese is better, do it on your own time. Otherwise throw both in the cart and think while your pushing your way to the next product. You can always give it back at the register BUT don’t do this with all items and makes someones jobs harder by having a bunch of go backs.
4. Throw something in the cart just for him. We all know bribery works so throw in his favorite juice, a big steak, maple bacon chips, Angry Orchard, whatever floats his boat. He’ll be happy to have a treat and I appreciate having a 6’4 guy who can grab things and move people out of the way for me.
5. Let him pick the checkout lane. At least if he picks wrong, it’s on him. Plus, all I really care about is the candy selection and choosing between People magazine or the National Enquirer. 
In all seriousness, these rules aren’t just for your guy/partner/significant other who hates shopping. These rules apply can apply to you as the grocery store hater or for your solo trips.
After all, you can just make #4 a treat for yourself.
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advice, dating, happy, joey waffles, love, love lessons, north shore poor, relationship advice, single, soul mate, taylor swift

North Shore Love Lessons (or this is why you might be single)

Thanks to JoeyWaffles, I am out of the dating game and hallelujah for that. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed dating and the single life but I was always a long term kind of girl. I am not that old but dating now seems so hard! Dating when you’re in your twenties in the current social climate, yikes! I have seen a lot of articles popping up on dating from dealbreakers to power struggles and the qualities that matter in a mate, and there is a lot going on. Being me (and having once wanted to be a certified relationship and sex therapist) I have some strong thoughts/opinions and advice. So many people I know are dating and looking for mr/mrs right and wondering why they keep meeting the wrong types. Wondering why you’re a catch and still single?

I’m gonna break it down for you, using  some old school adages with new school philosophy.

1. Never chase deals, streetcars, and a woman/man. If someone wants you, they want you. Plain and simple. When a person wants you in their life, they call and text and make it happen. If they can’t handle this simple communication and have issues, ask yourself why you want them. If they can’t even be a friend to you, why want them for a partner? Obviously people have issues and everyone ALWAYS has a reason why this doesn’t apply to them but at the end of the day, it’s just a fact. You call people you want to see and make them a priority. Someone might be worth it and like you but if they don’t call you for weeks and you see them out and about, it’s you they don’t want to see. Move on.

2. To find a prince, you have to kiss some toads: I believe Foxy Brown said this and she’s right. Not every kiss or date is going to be perfect and it shouldn’t be. Life is all about experience and sure, there are people who got lucky their first kiss was their last first kiss but that’s a rare case these days. Going out with a guy for a drink and having a kiss that taste of bourbon and mystery, why the hell not. Having a list of expectations and limiting yourself to an ideal type just closes off the amount of people you meet. You may not like short guys with tattoos and a nice smile but go out. Have a drink or tea. Maybe you don’t click with him but the waiter is your type or his friend. Or you just make a great new friend. Does this mean go out with anyone who asks, absolutely not. But if someone intrigues you, is respectful, interesting and seems like a good person and you feel comfortable take a chance. Even toads offer the experience of learning what you don’t want.

3. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire: Trust your instinct. That’s it. If you think you’re a side piece/they’re lying/something isn’t right, you’re probably right. Go with your gut. If you want to know, ask. If you get evasive answers and there’s a pit in your stomach, don’t ignore it. Oprah said the only mistakes she’s made were when she didn’t trust her instinct and well, she’s Oprah so I believe her and so should you.

4.Opposites attract: So this is a funny one because I think it over simplifies things. People who say this to justify relationship problems can be downplaying the real issues. On the surface a lot of thing can be opposite but your core beliefs need to mesh and be on the same wavelength. Your morals, ethics, and who you really are, that matters. What music you like, tattoos, favorite foods, they all play a role but it’s what you believe that should not be opposite. So while surface opposites might attract, don’t apply this to everything.

5. All you need is love: Ha. If it was only it was that simple. Love is great but it doesn’t pay the bills. You also need respect, commitment, time, laughter, and on and on.

6. You’ll find it when you stop looking: You know why this works? Because when you love yourself and are happy and satisfied with your life, you stop looking. You know you don’t need anyone to be complete you. Before you can be in a relationship and love someone else the way deserve, you need to love yourself first. I love JoeyWaffles more than anything…except myself. I love me more and that makes me all the better as a partner. It’s the biggest cliche but it’s absolutely true…unless you find your soul mate online dating and then, go you!

The best part? No matter how rational and heart smart we try to be,
Taylor Swift says it best:

“If you have enough natural chemistry with someone, you overlook every single thing you said would break the deal”